| = welcome new member! | Marius Surleac [04.Dec.09 21:51] |
| you have two or three lines that are ok but you need to work more to complete a good poem. You have some "wild" repetitions in quite a short space and this wipes the poem, becoming a bit annoying when reading. There is "thee" which usually is used when addressed to God. Then, would be "an ocean" instead of "a ocean" and also "though" instead of "tough" | |