| = the you bird... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [11.Dec.12 22:35] |
| Hi Cristina, There's an interesting piece of profound existentialism hidden in your poem, I do not know if intentionally or not (it doesn't truly matter, as true poetry writes itself through you, from an inner self which lives its own life if allowed to -and writers are the few who come so close to understanding this immense truth-). What I mean is the fact that you never mention in your poem the direction you've followed on that white line. You speak of looking forward, about behind, about above, about beneath, about life and death, pathetic in a bucket of rain, but never of any direction, as if it wouldn't matter... You see the sleeping bird is you, kept alive in as long as you walk away from from the darkness unwilling to follow anyone walking deep into something which stays actually behind... Actually you, we, and those alike, we walk deeper into the closeness with our inner self, away from this grey existence good only to drown innocence, like that of blind little puppies... Simply philosophy... rcm | |
| + added detail... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [11.Dec.12 22:39] |
| I am getting sometimes so pleasantly lost in what I read and comment, that I forget some "minor details". The previous comment justifies the star given in this one:-) With respect rcm | |
| = plus fatalism | Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu [12.Dec.12 18:36] |
| Thanks, Romulus. You added a beautiful interpretation to my poem. Of course it is loaded with a kind existentialism. But I can see here also a sort of fatalism, which is quite the opposite. The human being cannot walk here on any way, it is like a No Entry sign, because he or she chose to walk the middle line, a long time ago, before the loss of innocence or knowledge acquirement. It is a kind of fragile equilibrium between the past(the road behind)and the future, symbolized by that sleeping bird. Like this the innocence is preserved, staying awake over our inner desires or longing for the past. Always striving, leaving the night behind. But without making a real decision between two opposites, caring more about the balance. Reason over feelings. Therefore the regret expressed in the second stanza. | |
| = elsewhere... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [13.Dec.12 16:44] |
| Hi Cristina, I wouldn't recognize as fatalism the dignified "straight back and forward look" even if that may help carrying the sleeping bird of equilibrium... Pessimism, yes, but in my opinion pessimism is just the normal attitude of the sane, but fatalism, no, because from my view the fatalist never walks, idleness being their favourite "activity"... Still trying to understand the exquisite dimension of your finale, with only its leaves and flowers present in the dimension of the rest, rooted nevertheless absolutely elsewhere... But where...? rcm | |
| = perspective | Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu [13.Dec.12 17:03] |
| I will explain you the roots of my finale...it is not so romantic as it seems. I read once about a psychotherapy technique which consist in changing the perspective or the point of view of the patient, creating other proportions for his sufferings. This was the source of inspiration for my final lines here. From Earth we can see the total eclipse of the Moon. But from elsewhere? For a person the load of his or her life problems might be heavy, what if he tries to look at them from another planet, from somewhere orbiting the Earth? You understand what I mean. Our tiny lives and miseries are only a drop in the ocean or in this galaxy. Here in my poem this theory leads to a metaphor. I agree with you, pessimism is a more appropriate term. | |
| = fierce envy... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [13.Dec.12 22:51] |
| By leaves and flowers I just meant the visible versus the hidden, no romanticism was thought of... I understand the load displacement, it's being heavily used in religious counselling, still, the "walking farther deep into the night behind your back" is a sentence I fiercely envy you for:-)) The heart and the total eclipse of the Earth... I wish I could give you a few more stars... Have you thought about exercising your skills through comments as well? You see in and beyond, which is rare. I'd value reading your comments as well:-) With friendly respect, rcm | |