Comentariile membrilor:

= Well done! Welcome!
Sydney Krivenko
[01.Aug.07 17:04]
I like it! Welcome!
Only, if I may say, the last two lines are somewhat unnecessary, they spoil the nice flow. Also the beauy after... that is a forced rhyme, wire(spelling!) "There is only a thin wire on which to find beauty", my humble suggestion. Don´t worry about rhymes in every line! The flow and melody of a poem is the main thing to strive for, and to make it a story with some sense is the hardest part!
Well done!
= thanks, but I won't change it
Jucan Alexandru
[29.Jan.08 10:03]
I wanted to build a flow in order to kill it so I can express a rough message. The wire is a narrow way. Beauty and fulfillment are at the end of the road not on it. Thank you! This was my first (and only, so far) poem in English. I wasn't expecting to see it approved from the begining.

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= Well done! Welcome!	Sydney Krivenko [01.Aug.07 17:04]
I like it! Welcome! Only, if I may say, the last two lines are somewhat unnecessary, they spoil the nice flow. Also the beauy after... that is a forced rhyme, wire(spelling!) "There is only a thin wire on which to find beauty", my humble suggestion. Don´t worry about rhymes in every line! The flow and melody of a poem is the main thing to strive for, and to make it a story with some sense is the hardest part! Well done!

= thanks, but I won't change it	Jucan Alexandru [29.Jan.08 10:03]
I wanted to build a flow in order to kill it so I can express a rough message. The wire is a narrow way. Beauty and fulfillment are at the end of the road not on it. Thank you! This was my first (and only, so far) poem in English. I wasn't expecting to see it approved from the begining.