| = cam - | Edilberto González Trejos [24.Dec.07 14:49] |
| I take shelter in these beautiful poem to thank sand wish you all the best in this Season! | |
| = good start for the new year | ion amariutei [18.Jan.08 22:32] |
| i think just a little more fluidity could turn this into a memorable poem. easiest way to do this is cut out some articles (particularly "the"), prepositions and some expressive redundancies. to give just a single example: measuring sadness with leaden paces - long since I've used to cry happy new year and quit smoking :) | |
| = I even cannot think about | heghedus camelia [19.Jan.08 08:50] |
| quit smoking. Ion, help me to change further. I’m not a well English speaker. I’ve tried, look: measuring sadness with leaden paces - long since I've used to cry remembering about body as about a spindle wriggled into a fist of light exercising way out from flesh exhale time locked within lungs universal attraction’s law thins hand spinning the earth’s bundle rests on my nape like in a fugitive descent under the involuntary caress sky’s edging touch the hem of the earth I’m sure it still doesn’t sound good. It was a very nice surprise finding you here, where very, nice, and surprise are used in their entire and clean meaning. Have a happy year you also! Maybe you’ll accept to visit us more often and let your very welcome and necessary opinions. | |
| = you asked for it | ion amariutei [20.Jan.08 08:17] |
| you’re definitely on the right track, but you might have cut too much this time. well, most people hate this and i can understand why, but you asked for it so i'll have no remorse :) measuring sadness with leaden paces - long since I've used to cry I remember the body - a spindle wriggled into a fist of light practicing my way out of flesh exhaling time locked within lungs a game of colored smoke rings thinning the law of universal attraction the hand that spins the earth’s bundle rests from time to time on my nape in a fugitive descent i feel the sky’s edging knot caressing the hem of the earth | |
| = Ion, | heghedus camelia [20.Jan.08 08:22] |
| thank you! thank you so much! | |
| = Nice melting images, Camelia... | Marius Surleac [17.Mar.08 15:29] |
| "I feel the sky’s edging knot caressing the hem of the earth" - There is the knot for substance and non-substance felt in your heart, so simply designed for this middle edge in the "hem of the earth" There are two different worlds strongly connected. Wonderful! | |