Members comments:

= two different individual states...
Marius Surleac
[26.Apr.08 00:15]
There is a typing mistake in the second paragraph and I think you’ve wanted to say “I thought I should start Victor’s story” instead of “though”. In the fourth paragraph you’ve used “if I were” - I think it should be “as if I was”. In the ninth paragraph I think you wanted to say “I walked shoulder to shoulder with Victor” not “to Victor” - so please make the corrections.

Anyway the basic idea of the text is very expressive, it hangs in balance two states: of limited life and eternal one felt by Pinocchio. The images reflected by this two separated states makes you tear a drop when talking about friendship.

Congratulations for your beautiful work.

Marius.

No anonymous comments allowed !
In order to post comments and texts
you must have an account and then LOGIN !

Go back !

Warning: Unknown: write failed: No space left on device (28) in Unknown on line 0

Warning: Unknown: Failed to write session data (files). Please verify that the current setting of session.save_path is correct (/var/www/dynamic/-agonia.v3-2/www/tmp) in Unknown on line 0

= two different individual states...	Marius Surleac [26.Apr.08 00:15]
There is a typing mistake in the second paragraph and I think you’ve wanted to say “I thought I should start Victor’s story” instead of “though”. In the fourth paragraph you’ve used “if I were” - I think it should be “as if I was”. In the ninth paragraph I think you wanted to say “I walked shoulder to shoulder with Victor” not “to Victor” - so please make the corrections. Anyway the basic idea of the text is very expressive, it hangs in balance two states: of limited life and eternal one felt by Pinocchio. The images reflected by this two separated states makes you tear a drop when talking about friendship. Congratulations for your beautiful work. Marius.