| = my opinion | Marius Surleac [24.Jul.08 10:42] |
| I like the imagery here but it is not really a haiku, first of all the theme and secondly the number of syllables: here is 6-7-5 syllables instead of 5-7-5. Best wishes, Marius | |
| = . | Maria Tirenescu [24.Jul.08 11:00] |
| Better: village wooden-bridge – an ox cart crosses sluggish and creaking | |
| = !!! | Marius Surleac [27.Jul.08 12:07] |
| Not really because you loose the two syllables in the middle. | |
| = If I may... | John Willy Kopperud [27.Jul.08 13:11] |
| ...I offer this suggestion: Wooden village bridge. One ox in front of the wagon. - A creaky crossing. Cheers from Willy | |
| = could not resist | Christopher Thripp [27.Jul.08 13:24] |
| 1 ox 1 cow heavy wagon sorry could not resist... maria you owe me one... | |
| = thanks | Maria Tirenescu [28.Jul.08 11:25] |
| Thank you for the comments! I'll rectify. Maria | |