| = in traffic! | Marius Surleac [02.Oct.08 20:32] |
| I like the imagery created here Corina, the wish inflicted by repetition in the third stanza, the patience that stands like a bomb ready to explode. You start first fixing the lens on the simple view "in traffic/ I’m just another car…", then you extend the lens' view in a particular way, having your own person stuck in the core of all that encloses you, and finally you close the poem resigned "in traffic". I like it. Well done Corina! Best wishes, Marius | |
| = wow Corina | Mike Aspros [03.Oct.08 07:36] |
| I agree with Marius, the presentation and the container holding the poem together. I get the sense of desperation shared among everyone, yet we are blind until you showed it to us. Thank you for posting this, well done. - mike | |
| = Marius | Corina Gina Papouis [03.Oct.08 11:50] |
| Happy you got that 'patience', the silence before a storm. It has a personal meaning to me, nevertheless, expressing (or trying to) a state of mind. I tried the macro - micro approach and than reverse. Lovely to hear from you!:) | |
| = Mike | Corina Gina Papouis [03.Oct.08 12:01] |
| Spot on! Desperation contained within one's soul, behind sun glasses (a safe retreat).. How many out there? Who knows. No one would ever guess...but you, guys, of course! Cheers, Corina) | |
| = great job.. | Christopher Thripp [03.Oct.08 18:55] |
| sunday morning drivers ..gotta love em... | |
| = Mr Thripp:) | Corina Gina Papouis [03.Oct.08 20:54] |
| We don't all wear gloves and hats, you know, some of us like to talk about it..on a deeper level. Thanks for passing by, Corina | |
| = Anonymity, blankness, the mask... | John Willy Kopperud [03.Oct.08 22:26] |
| ...that hides the consequences of severe blows. A wonderful theme in poetry. Good poem, Corina and the repetition of the first lines in the end really works here! Cheers from Willy | |
| = Willy | Corina Gina Papouis [04.Oct.08 00:16] |
| I nearly called it 'the mask'! Telepathy or...spookiness? In times of hardship privacy/ anonymity works best for me, maybe for others, too...for a while, anyway... Thanks for your thoughts on this one, Willy! Most appreciated. Cheers, Corina | |