| = nice! | Marius Surleac [27.Nov.08 10:43] |
| Nice imagery created here, a bit noisy the suggestions of words and the final line is very meaningful. P.S. From now on you can post comments! Cheers, Marius | |
| = ... rusty iron pieces, and bones | Ada Ionescu [28.Nov.08 01:11] |
| Thank you for reading; so very glad you liked it! I didn't understood... do you find the poem too noisy? Yes, I think the final line could be the key to the core. I've read "My shapeless sweetheart" and I extracted the best lines (in my opinion, of course): "... the vicious crowd that trample each other as to the sky – thus, living on big foot, alongside you I can visit the world, my fingers... pondering... had the sensation of drowning When I hold your warm and velvety hand I feel the invasion of the needles/ that run like crazy to the hypothalamus, and return tired the difference between death and life is exactly of six feet under: full of soil and worms/ and Your letters smell like apple, like cigars and taste like white wine –/ less like paper and expensive Chinese ink From nowhere the eyes start to focus (...) and then resigned/ to bury you/ in time." Unmistakably strong, beautiful, touching. | |