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■ The oak
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My first encounter with Lewis happened quite recently
but the impact was powerful. It still is. I felt as if I had been walking for a long time through a desert and then came to an oasis that could seemingly quench my thirst for life. Since then, I have continued to feed my spirit with words and ideas that weave a never-ending tapestry of emotions, desires and longings for more, for deeper searches into my most intimate being. I held the book in my hands, looking at it, searching for meanings that played hide and seek with me. Beginning with the cover, my finger tips sensed an inner vibration...and there it was...a powerful motto, words that did not let me rest for several days. I was in a struggle with the meaning those words contained...I wanted and painfully needed a confirmation that my thoughts were the right ones related to that motto..."love is too young to know what conscious is..." It seems to me that the book starts with an explanation for what is about to happen; that love means forgiveness and absolute justification for whatever we do when we love. I do not have an answer for this, I do not know what right means or what wrong means when we love, but what I know for sure is that nothing justifies, not even love, the deliberate pain we cause to the others. But again, this idea is conflicted, becomes a contradiction to the meaning of true love...love never hurts...love renders us better. This is my absolute truth, my own truth and Lewis has guided me towards this truth anticipating the hope I had in finding this in his books. When reading Lewis I am not alone anymore, he is an overwhelming presence with a powerful touch upon my soul. He so easily finds his way through open hearts and I like to believe he could find his way to even less open ones, for his sensitivity and the emotion he sends through his pages could even move the dead from their sleep. For those who sleep the sleep of their mind and soul, there is no other more wonderful way of being brought back to life than by reading Lewis. His insight, his ideas and the style of his writing are so empathetic and perfectly embody human nature, human needs and human struggles. His literature is nothing less than holistic love towards mankind. Each of us can find him or herself in everything Lewis writes. His literature is not only thought provoking, it is a felt one, a result of who he is, what he feels, what he deals with in every day existence. Regardless of the characters we find when reading him...Psyche, Maya, Bardia...he is each and every one of them as we eventually turn out to be. The myth that serves as background for the story in "Till We Have Faces" is wonderful and moving...but the way Lewis retells it is beyond description at times and I find it difficult to organize my ideas and feelings as to give a natural flow of what reading it means to me. The feelings I have when reading come like arrows with such speed that I can hardly handle the impact they have upon me. All of them are essential to the understanding of my own being and life, all of them require equal attention, all of them are crucial in guiding and opening my love for my fellows. Psyche? Who is she? Is she me? Is she you? Maya? Hidden face...the more she hides from her exterior being, the more she grows inwardly, the deeper she feels, loves and aches. The myth, originally, suggests that some acts of Maya are born from roots of jealousy and envy...but that was the myth. The book belongs in spirit and feelings to Lewis and no matter how hard I tried to reach those roots, I could not, for Lewis strongly believes in goodness and altruism and transparency of pure hearts. He could not have turned Maya into a cruel woman jealous of her sister's happiness; he could not have turned Maya into a liar or a hypocrite. Rather he made her be a sensitive and normal woman whose doubts and fears are nothing the natural aspects of a mortal human being. I was mislead at first by the basic idea of the myth and walked along the shores of this story following the thread of Psyche's destiny. I do not know exactly when I had the revelation of the true purpose of the book. In my opinion this is Maya. She is the real queen of this book, she is the one who takes off the garments enveloping her soul and eventually her spirit stands naked in front of us. This nudity of spirit and emotions makes me kneel at her feet and my arms are open to give her the embrace of love, compassion and admiration for who she is. Maya teaches us the ultimate lesson, that of love and affection. Maya teaches us that love is silent and humble. Maya teaches us that love is "if I could have beaten the breast, I would have put on steel gloves or hedgehog skins to do it". There is however a prerequisite for love of this sort. Maya had to learn it herself from an apparently insignificant character, Ansit, Bardia's wife. They both, together, discover the meaning of true love, through the deep pain caused by the death of the man they both loved. Lewisâs book comes to an end, but the echo of what he shares with us is eternal...he is a deep well of reason and emotions and its source is immortal. Sometimes I feel I do not belong to these times and it may be true, but Lewis taught me to never feel...strange...but to feel like a "dream would feel, if it were seen walking about in the waking world". |
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