I went to bed hoping I'd fall asleep easily
Sacrificing two hours of waiting
for a fresh morning start
seemed like a good deal
but i couldn't sleep
wondering where could you be.

your parents go to sleep early
so they can't be keeping you that long
so maybe you went out
with people i don't know
some friends from work perhaps

did they wait for you with a surprise today?
did they all say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
when you came in?
or maybe they tried to be original
acting like they forgot
and waited until just before five

or maybe you're at home
watching a movie to substitute for me
and you can't drop me a line
because your dad spilled wine on the computer
and if so, I wonder
why you're not texting me.
and I wonder this because you used to ask:
why didn't you text me?

and in moments like that i felt so guilty
doubly guilty
for not texting you
and for not having thought of texting you.

a simple 'musmtish' would have been enough.
you'd have understood it
it would have colored your world
light blue. actually
I'm beginning to feel triply guilty

because your phone's silence must have sounded like

'you've been crowded out'