startled myself again today. just like all the other days. and nights. there's nothing more startling than silence. she asked me to listen to it. and i did. even though i once understood the heresy. i couldn't help forgetting. listen to it, listen to the silence, she said. and i did.

scared myself again today. just like always. there's nothing more scary than fear. she asked me to listen to it. are you listening? are you listening to your fear? i couldn't not obey. i couldn't look away. once you've seen it. once you've been there. once you've done that. you cannot pretend. you've never seen it. you've never listened. because you did see it. and you should be about to see it again. this evening. right about now. when she'll come around nestling in between your ear drums and sing the silence. listen, listen! and i did.

scarred myself again today. just like that other day. there's nothing more
scarring than matter. she reasoned me into listening to her. even though i knew better. i couldn't help listening to her. she reasoned me into believing her. even though i had been told better. her reasoning rhymed well in absence of any other. since there was only silence. and no one else around to break it. i listened. swung her in the courtyard. and added another scar on the list.