Let me introduce myself first, my name is Che Nan Tung, or Mike Tung for easier recognition, I am 21yr old Taiwanese male who immigrated to New Zealand with my family consisting my mother, her parents and an older brother, into this country and settled in Nelson at the date of March 1993. Seeking and escaping a lifestyle and English education that my home country cannot offer, as the society is so overpopulated which make the learning process of life itself complicated and the value of material wealth is so high among the students and teenagers, whose vision of the world is often filled with the concept of (Rich = Happiness).

My father knows and acknowledges the importance of teaching his two sons the meaning of being independent. Survive the cultural difference difficulty that we will eventually have to deal with, try to show his two sons that there is so much variety of people and different cultures that we can observe and also learn from.
My father stayed back in Taiwan who worked as a full time math and P.E teacher, also a basketball, tennis, swimming, baseball, athletic coach on the weekends, and sometimes a home tutor around exam periods all that blood and sweat poured to his family over here in New Zealand so we dont have to worry about money and can concentrate on education as priority, this is the most common style of parents supporting their children overseas, common style of an average earning family of my country. But for any father who send his wife and kids overseas must be quite wealthy as the long term daily expense can be quite heavy which my family lacked of, so for the sake of security of my family, my father bought and invested in several land and property shares despise the risks that came with it so we would have a financial stable life over here in New Zealand.

Unfortunately, disaster strikes when Taiwan tried to declare independence to its motherland China. With the tension of a war it send the economy and Taiwanese dollar plunging dramatically, I am not too sure just how many people were affected then but it definitely shattered my familys financial status, my father went bankrupt.
Owed so much money even when his parents passed away, the inheritance went to pay back my fathers debts, his brothers and sisters started to point fingers my father tried to act strong in front of our family, but I guess the pressure and the feeling of him failed the responsibility of looking after us was too much too handle, his marriage under and in danger, which leads to his mysterious disappearance and abandonment of his family.

I was still a 3rd form student at high school when this all happened, where my life took a sudden dramatic turn, for someone who had never experienced poverty, it was all too much for me and my family to handle, witnessing the selling of our family property, witnessing the fighting, yelling, and crying of my loved ones and my mother would always comfort me and my brother by saying things like;
Dont worry, once you two graduate from University you can buy our life back
it become a struggle for me personally, I just cant seem to focus on school work when all I see at home is crying, grieving and blaming over the symbol called money.

I managed to pass two school certificate subjects; mathematics and English, barely, and I dropped out from school at the start of 6th form and saw getting a job as a way to help my father to pay back his debts, searching for that harmony my family deserves. But what kind of job that is suitable for an Asian kid who never worked and has a low school qualification? I found fishing I went to the Westport fishing school to undergo 20 weeks of training so I can gain basic skills needed to survive out at sea, my first steps to the real world, I worked about 4 years on a deep-sea trawler owned by Sealords and then switched to a private fishing company called Endurance owed by a well reputation boss called Craig Boote, in the time being I gained qualification such as my radio ticket, advance deckhand ticket, first aid and level 2 seafood processing and several others, despise all that hard laboring, pouring blood and sweat everyday had two near death experiences, I had a great sense of pride I felt I was representing my people to the kiwi culture that not all Asian teenagers are spoiled rich kids that live off their daddy I worked hard, proving myself to them, I earned my respect.

I once had to put through a test like phase when I tried hard to fit in with the European culture, I scored a surprising above average result,

When I think back about all those days as a fisherman, the things I remember are not the money I made nor the harsh times I had, surprisingly its the time when everything is quiet at sunset me and the other deckhands waiting for the doors to come up, and I look around and watch how everyone is quiet and zoning out in their own head thinking about something family? Love ones? Their life so far? Or what Scotty the cook has made us for dinner? I am not sure but its those images of us, all from different backgrounds and culture, but despite all those things we are in one place, ready to give 110% to get the job done, ready to help each other no matter what just like in life, people should forget about race, background and get together and get the job done!

But sometimes the thought of me on my knees working for a living just hurts my self esteem, I often think of my family and loved ones, the thought of they see me working as a fisherman, but its not like I didnt like being a fisherman, but with Asian culture when you are on your knees and using labor as a job people look down on you and class you on the lower part of the so called Social class, they often question me; What other things can you do on your knees? You pray or beg but you are doing it as a job. They think you have no education, no manner, no respect to other people, they will judge you on your appearance, but in a way I was glad I had a chance to meet all those people during my fishing career not just the fishermen but also when I am on land I am drawn to hang around those people; people who struggled, people have no choice but to act and do the things they do, usually not accepted by people who dont understand them, like the higher class people, or people who blame us instead blame the nature of human and society.
These people are the true beings of this world, you will learn things off them that no text book or any school could ever teach you, I learned to look at world differently, its not all about money, fashion, whos got the latest but it is about all those other things thing that truly matter.

When I moved down here to Christ church, I was surprised by how my own people Asians are so into their mmm Disney world maybe thats how I should put it. I finally had friends in likeness of my own culture and I thought I was just being brainwashed cause I came here at a young age, I thought my way of thinking was for the weak, ignored and examples of the poor people who will never succeed in anything.
I got judged from day one, I didnt have the right clothes, I didnt have the right fashion trend, I had no money, and from a broken family, I was a fisherman, they didnt know who I was, luckily I had a old friend who used to live in Nelson, he took me under his wings and gave people a image of the new me more acceptable.
I was so surprised how most Asian students here are given so much from their parents, cars, money, clothes they had it all, I was jealous, and that feeling soon turned into anger of why I had to went through those Blood and sweat soul consuming process compared to my well off friends whose money comes from a phone call to dad. I was so angry but not at anybody, but at the life I was given but took away so suddenly, and these wealthy people often reminded me of the painful past and what life could have been I even realized my way of speaking my original language was the kids cartoon hour version: laughable. To prove to myself the will power and endurance of pain I thought I had found through fishing, I devoted most of my time observing and studying the way how things was done Asian style

But I knew none of these guys earned anything they owned, its all handed to them and I know deep inside I had more conscience and wisdom about Life than any of them.
But Ive forgotten the main purpose Ive moved down here for, Ive quit fishing because I finally realized I can change my lifestyle by going back to school and get a education so I can earn a career with wisdom and not well built biceps and I thought by having learnt so much about people vs. society, I can use this extra skill in my field of profession, but. Pride, greed, jealousy. I've just became REGRET.

Its strange when a person get so stuck in a given situation in life.. he considered all the options but he dont see running away from a problem is ever a solution to anything if he want to learn from past mistakes and find the source of the problem he knows the responsible thing is to become a part of a solution and not be ignorant and become a part of a problem like majority of people chooses to do, but as much as he wanted to do the right thing, he realize the ugly reality that will eventually come with it he believes that the word V employment is associated with many other good things but many people choose to look at it as a way to just take care of the bills that comes through that mailbox too often, in this fast changing, unforgiving modern society he witnessed the potential and dreams of individuals not recognized/achieved because the way these people was forced to use the precious time God have given to us wasted on being what he think as modern day slaves the mentality of getting a job as a solution to make that acceptable class in society, never able to express their creativity or thoughts because money becomes the number one priority in peoples lives willing to sacrifice quality over quantity unfortunate individuals who had to worry and stress over money issues often see the equation of (Rich = Happiness), and majority of these individuals usually are willing to sacrifice anything to get to the top innocence, dreams, principle and belief the purpose of life suddenly become a race to a finish line where the prize are made of plastic you'll enjoy it for awhile then you wake up and found out you were in the wrong race damn!! Prize given on the other race is guaranteed no matter what place you come and awards are designed to your satisfactions to enjoy over and over again, but its the starting line people often cant seem to find.
I decided a change in career where he felt I can find that starting line to that race with the intangible award.


And after my first encounter of the world crashing down, I manage to overcome it and I discovered a few basic but helpful morals and principles I saw as an advantage in areas of having something to live by. I thought he was strong in mind and wouldnt buckle little did I know, I buckled at the first trial of faith and has chosen to make temptation and luxury close company to have around, I wanted to skip the process of you have to earn to receive, this crowd gave me a image of steady, firm, stylish, lifestyle the majority of Asian people had my people living without any cash stress, the thing they stress about are totally new to this just came off a stinky fishing boat everything maori style asian man, who often question himself his real identity.

To look at the world from the angle where people spoke with a sense of realness, often have a different way of dealing with many tricky issues that life has to offer. They rather look life as a game to be played, because in a game anybody can win, and also loose too, its already expected, so these people look at life ups and down with more relax and acceptable approach by treating it as a game, they want believe by being a player in this game, anybody can win, but in any game there is a player and also definitely there will be cheaters but its almost to impossible to tell a true good player from a well trained cheater until you find out the hard way.

I think of myself as a player in this game where its game mode was set to hard by the game creator who wants this player to experience many game over, insert more credits to continue situations so when I finally get to finish the game, the feeling of accomplishment rewards the mental, and the skilled, experienced approach of the game will be studied and analyzed then set as a guide to all the new players who are willing to have a go, the hints, useful tips, warning of possible traps and dead ends will improve the overall % of the player finishing the game and get to have that celebration where all the players get together and share their game stories when the spirited soul has reached at a all time high.

illustration: Jennifer Budenz